Frustrating, frustrating,
always waiting for the bigger axe to fall

Well, Kerry didn't win, and it is now safe to go back to being complacent and disappointed in the government. Though, many of you don't have room to talk as the votes country-wide seemed to be pretty neck and neck. I hope you haven't been given too much rope, but just enough to let the president hang himself with.
In other news, we have finally set in stone something we thought about a majority of Americans for such a long time: yes, everyone, America hates the gays. If we don't hate homosexuals, then we at least don't want them to be happy. I believe this is a smart move, shooting down gay marriage right now, we need to go ahead and stop this thing before it gets too big. One homosexual can infect so many, when they join together in holy matrimony they are granted mystical powers, becoming one, they have the ability to wipe out entire towns, even states. Kentucky? How about Pink-tucky? Colorado? More like, Colo-RAINBOW! That's right, people, it's better that we stop this thing before it gets out of hand. Imagine all the gays in their pink tanks, rolling through our streets, telling us that they're "helping us" and making things "better." A team Queer Eye making every house in this land over in their image. People not getting beat up for being different. The list goes on and on, thank God that Jesus led people into the polls in the states with Gay Marriage on the ballot. Jesus walked them in with his arm around them, saying, "really, I'm fucking serious, stop doing this shit in my or my father's name."
So, thank you majority voters in...ROLL CALL!
ARKANSAS!
GEORGIA!
KENTUCKY!
MICHIGAN!
MISSISSIPPI!
MONTANA!
NORTH DAKOTA!
OHIO!
OKLAHOMA!
OREGON!
and...UTAH!
....THANK YOU FOR REMINDING THE WORLD, AND ESPECIALLY US CONTAINTED WITHIN THESE SHORES, THAT AMERICA IS FULL OF BIGGOTED ASSHOLES, AND THAT FREEDOM IS A CONCEPT THAT EXISTS ONLY AS LONG AS THE MAJORITY WANTS IT TO.
Were I homosexual I would more than likely be drinking right now, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, seeing as how it is now perfectly fucking clear that this place isn't too fond of my existence. I'm a straight white male, I can't begin to understand how scary something like this must be.
Gold stars to be awarded for going the extra mile:
First gold star goes to Mississippi, for going beyond the call of duty when it came to the same sex ballot measure. We were wondering how you would fare, Mississippi, if you would go the route of your fellow states, more of a 60-40 split, maybe a 75-25 split, but no, you played a whole different ball game, pulling through with an 86-14 split. That's right, almost 90% of Mississippian voters believe that homosexual couple don't deserve the rights of straight couples. 90%. Congrats, Mississippi, all I can say is "wow."
Second gold star goes to South Carolinian third-term Congressman (and soon to be Senator) Jim Demint. Same sex marriage wasn't on the ballot in South Carolina, but that didn't stop Jim for sharing his homophobia with the public. In Demint's world, teachers far and wide are not gay, and are not single, pregnant women (especially not single, pregnant women with live-in boyfriends; I can only assume this means that it is legal to drag from their homes gay men who live together, and then beat them, maybe set them on fire; Jim will come, he'll bring the robes). I guess Jim can't totally take the blame on this, as the SC GOP platform holds the same belief about openly gay men and women teachers. Jimmy won, by about 200,000 votes.
It makes me want to run away to a better place, maybe up to Canada, maybe just to the northern states, but, as a friend of mine put it when this notion was brought to his attention, "I'm really glad that Martin Luther King didn't come up with the same idea."
It's time to re-group. We've got four years, we'd best start using them wisely.
posted by beta at 11/04/2004 11:13:00 AM